WARNING! THIS PAGE IS FOR CANINES ONLY! ALL FELINES AND HUMANS MUST EXIT IMMEDIATELY!
(Note: If you have the permission of the primary canine or canines in your pack, non-canines may view this site).
Woof woof! Bark woof woof, bark, wag pant,pant wag! Woof woof, bark woof. Wag wag, wag wag. Lick, pant, wag. Lick, pant, wag! Sniff sniff, grrrr, sniff… wag.
Translation:
Greetings to my doggie brothers and sisters! Andy, of Andy and Sonny here. (Mayberry got you, babe). I’m sure you’re all well aware of the controversy surrounding domestic activities while in the absence of your humans. They claim they need to “work,” and that they “have things to do,” which, frankly, is a convenient excuse for them to temporarily abandon us while they “go out and earn a living.” Grrrrr! Half the time we don’t know if they’re *ever* coming back! Can you blame us for leaving a special little package for them when they come home? We can’t walk ourselves, right? Well, I am pleased to announce that I, along with my business partner Sonny, have successfully trained our humans to not only walk us, but to feed us, play with us, romp around in meadows, and pretty much do whatever else we want, on demand!
We have a little problem, though, but with your assistance, we may have found a solution that could work out well for all canines. I’m knee deep into my screenplay, (I have a three-picture overall holding deal with Universal) and Sonny is completely absorbed in his internet startup. Neither one of us has the time for our humans, and they might lose their conditioning if they aren’t around dogs every day, all day long. As such, we are willing to loan out our humans for your amusement and assistance with your daily routines, for a minimal fee. It’s good for us, because we want to keep them in top form, and neither one of us has the time to walk with them, (we’re *always* in meetings!), and you don’t want to be cooped up all day indoors. There’s a meadow right out back, and you should be romping in it at least once a day.
Human law required that our humans “jump through hoops” (something we all know a thing or two about!), to get licensed and bonded, (apparently, not all humans are domesticated), which means you can trust them, because, after all, trust is what it’s all about. Sonny and I can personally vouch for their off-the-charts amusement factor, and since they’re getting up there, (in human years), you get a level of maturity that you just might not get in a younger human. Our humans have had all their shots, and are good with all kinds of dogs, especially puppies. So, if you’re looking to add a rent-a-human to your pack, please consider George and Irene Yesowitch, our longest-tenured employees at WalksByGeorge.com.
- George Yesowitch
- 707-339-3553
- George@WalksbyGeorge.com